For some of us there is not enough wine, champagne or beer (if that’s your preference) to prepare you for the Holidays and spending quality time with the “Family.” Not everyone’s families are Hallmark card perfect. If yours is then God Bless You! We’ve composed a list of coping mechanisms to get you through the “Circus” this holiday season. We hope that you find these helpful (and funny) in your time of need.
Sense of Humor. Life is too short to let your Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Uncle, Cousin or Mother’s neighbor rock your boat. Your family should be a skit played in the old TV sitcom Seinfeld and maybe instead of totally rejecting their uniqueness, you should embrace the fact that without these people, you would not be as well-rounded as you are. If they have not stopped making fat jokes, pointing out horrible past relationships in front of your Husband or Wife, and breaking out the old pictures, guess what? They are probably never going to stop doing that! Make peace that this little dysfunctional family is ALL YOURS! (find the bottle of wine)
Keep it Real. If you’re trying to come up with a very elaborate excuse to get out of going to their house, just keep it real. You are an adult now. If saving yourself from a total melt down or jail time means you swing by the families’ house when “Uncle Tom” is not there, then so be it. If you can’t stand your Mother-in-law and you know attending the Christmas Party to please your wife is a mistake, then politely bow out and explain to your Wife it is best that you save your marriage now and don’t attend. (Especially if they are still talking about last year’s party and how bad you cussed that woman out.)Any woman should respect your honesty and if it’s that bad she probably secretly doesn’t want you there either.
Set boundaries. So the two situations above don’t apply to and you muster up the courage to go, do yourself a favor and be clear about your boundaries before getting out of the car. Be loyal to your mate. It may come at you from all directions about them and if you for one minute allow that kind of behavior and disrespect you will be sleeping on the couch afterwards. This applies to both my gentlemen and female readers. We have all been guilty of venting the not so good stuff when “paradise is not so blue” in our relationships but let your family know that this is neither the time nor place to discuss these things and you will have zero tolerance for it.
Make a plan. What time are you staying until? What if one of you wants to leave earlier than the other one? Make a plan. “10:00 pm we are leaving, regardless if everyone begs us to stay and play cards, eat more dessert, whatever” and stick to the plan. If you know the kids get restless around their bedtime hour then do the whole a service and take them home. The next few months are stressful enough without adding more fuel to the fire. Say thanks, give kisses, and get out.
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